Ermir

Ermir is one of the Maker Gods and is part of the Holy Trinity of beings who created reality. It is important to note that unlike the other Maker Gods, Ermir is powerful because of his beautiful and perfectly sized dong. Without his genitalia Ermir does not ascend to the same level of power as his the Gods and deities.

Ermir's Dong
Ermir's Penis is the single most beautiful thing in all of reality and is also the most perfectly sized peen that has and will exist. Some myths also say that Ermir's Gonads are the smoothest and roundest objects in the universe. Due to the shear perfection of his Genitalia, Ermir is granted godhood from having his Penis on his body. Although due to this relationship between Ermir and his Penis, if Ermir is ever separated from his Dong or some else takes control of it, then Ermir descends down the power ladder to level 3. Control over the Penis is one of the most sought after things in universe as its holder will ascend to godhood.

Possessing the Dong
Ermir being born as the host for the Dong is one of the Divine and possesses the natural right and worthiness to wield his Penis. For an outsider to wield the

The Right to the Dong
To get the right to wield the Dong one must either best Ermir in combat (Which is highly unlikely) or be born with it. The Clan of the First Sperm possess this natural right due to the fact that they can trace their lineage back to the creation of the heavens from Ermir's ejaculate. The first peoples of the stars were known as the Eścenẗlïteś and possessed a holy blood made from Ermir's sperm. After the migrations of Sẗear, the Eścenẗlïte peoples mated with the mortals which tainted their pure blood. These human star people hybrids formed the mortal Clan of the First Sperm. Those who are apart of the clan do not possess the natural right to the Dong. However, during every white moon festival, those who are conceived on this day that are born of two clan members will have pure sperm blood. These people naturally possess what is known as the Throat of Saigon. The Throat of Saigon allows anyone to suspend any object in their throat without repercussion, this includes Ermir's Dong.

Worthy of the Dong
Not only must one have the right to wield the Dong, but they must also be worthy. For an individual to be worthy they must be granted worthiness from Ermir himself, or possess a pure soul. To possess a pure soul you must either go to great lengths to clean any remnants of darkness and decay left over from the Great Dark Conquest of the mortal plane in 600 DYAC before the fall of the Ergrinoar kings. Cleansing of ones soul can either be done by realizing the falsehood of the divine structure of particles within a world existing after the era which existed before the existence of time (referred to as "Numindius" in the first tongs), or by manufacturing their soul to be pure by utilizing the lungs of Ludo. One can also be born with a pure soul but this is almost entirely random and extremely rare.

The Great Struggle
The Great Struggle or the Great Struggle for the dong is an apocalyptic event in which Lil' Bill assembled a coalition against the gods to overthrow them as the divine lords of the universe. Lil' Bill's plan was to use a Scroll of Waine to overload Ermir's power and separate his Dong from his divine body. After doing this Jeff Goldblum would utilize his pure soul and Throat of Saigon to wield Ermir's peen in his throat.